Ugly Duckling Syndrome

Seeing her does something to me, warmth fills my body and I feel euphoric, like this place I'm in is paradise, I feel asthmatic, she leaves me breathless, my heart races, losing paces, and the smile she puts on my face is outrageous. I don't know what to do with myself I am nervous and giddy at the same time when I am in her presence, shy and filled with recompense in her I could sense that she knew I was spent she could smell the infatuation scent, if God could have only lent me some courage, maybe there's a place where some I could rent, I'd give up everything like it was lent, for all my sins I repent just for a speck of time with her, just for a solitary moment. I admire her daily from a distance examining her beautiful countenance studying her laugh, memorizing her smile, to be in her presence I'd walk a mile, she has a fashionista's style, adorning herself in silver & gold, she is bold and my feet are cold, I lack the confidence to stand by her side though her hands I want to hold, I am afraid that this too will pass, the clock is steady moving and my opportunity is getting old.

I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say, how can a goddess look my way

Me, an ordinary man, an average dude, soft spoken nevr rude, dark as the oil crude with a spirit that could light up the room. I've had my share of gloom been washed out by the tsunami's boom. I've been teased & haunted by my past tears flowed as my family & other children laughed, teased about my full lips & kinky hair it put me in a state of dispair I tried to act like I didn't care, like sticks & stones would break my bones but words would never hurt but I felt like dirt, trample on stomped upon like I was earth, I felt like afterbirth. My esteem fell like mercury, bitter & cold I became, I began to think I was Lame, crippled in this life long game. Always the "friend" I became, the goddess I would never entertain, so I ask who is to blame? Inside my tears pour like rain, outwardly I smile but filled with disdain. I try to kill abel my low self esteem as kane but abel remains a permanent stain.

I don't know, I don't understand why, I've turned out to be 1 hell of a guy but I continually must rise out from depressions reach, out from tormented cries cause sometimes to myself I lie and say one day the goddess will be mine but I Know in my heart It'll only be in my next lifetime.