Saturday, March 6, 2010

Little Girl Blues

Sitting here wondering why is she unhappy
When things around are bright and snappy
The gloom overwhelms and she pushes all away
The snow is bright but she has no sleigh
Movement has ceased no longer in forward motion
Silence is golden she abhors commotion
Her face is down trodden
Her mood is sad
Her countenance says I'm feeling bad
Her demeanor is standoffish
Her attitude is amiss
Her words are harsh
In her life there seems to be no bliss
She wards all touching
No hugs and no kiss
If your in her presence
She'll instantly dismiss
She like a dieing flower
Her petals brown and dead
She's absent of color
She's all blue angry and red
She walks with her arms folded
Closed off to the world
And I am wondering what ails my little girl.

Ugly Duckling Syndrome

Seeing her does something to me, warmth fills my body and I feel euphoric, like this place I'm in is paradise, I feel asthmatic, she leaves me breathless, my heart races, losing paces, and the smile she puts on my face is outrageous. I don't know what to do with myself I am nervous and giddy at the same time when I am in her presence, shy and filled with recompense in her I could sense that she knew I was spent she could smell the infatuation scent, if God could have only lent me some courage, maybe there's a place where some I could rent, I'd give up everything like it was lent, for all my sins I repent just for a speck of time with her, just for a solitary moment. I admire her daily from a distance examining her beautiful countenance studying her laugh, memorizing her smile, to be in her presence I'd walk a mile, she has a fashionista's style, adorning herself in silver & gold, she is bold and my feet are cold, I lack the confidence to stand by her side though her hands I want to hold, I am afraid that this too will pass, the clock is steady moving and my opportunity is getting old.

I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say, how can a goddess look my way

Me, an ordinary man, an average dude, soft spoken nevr rude, dark as the oil crude with a spirit that could light up the room. I've had my share of gloom been washed out by the tsunami's boom. I've been teased & haunted by my past tears flowed as my family & other children laughed, teased about my full lips & kinky hair it put me in a state of dispair I tried to act like I didn't care, like sticks & stones would break my bones but words would never hurt but I felt like dirt, trample on stomped upon like I was earth, I felt like afterbirth. My esteem fell like mercury, bitter & cold I became, I began to think I was Lame, crippled in this life long game. Always the "friend" I became, the goddess I would never entertain, so I ask who is to blame? Inside my tears pour like rain, outwardly I smile but filled with disdain. I try to kill abel my low self esteem as kane but abel remains a permanent stain.

I don't know, I don't understand why, I've turned out to be 1 hell of a guy but I continually must rise out from depressions reach, out from tormented cries cause sometimes to myself I lie and say one day the goddess will be mine but I Know in my heart It'll only be in my next lifetime.